May 5, 1970 (90)
My dearest and sweet love, Angel,
With only 25 days remaining before I can finally hold you in
my arms, I find myself filled with hope, even though I am still waiting for
your definite answer—perhaps tonight, when I return home, there will be news.
There is a chance this may be my last letter before your arrival. Today, the
postal workers in Canada are voting on whether to strike, and while I hope
nothing disrupts our correspondence, please do not be alarmed if you stop
receiving my letters as regularly as before.
Regardless of the
outcome, I promise to continue writing faithfully twice each week, and I
encourage you to do the same. It is possible the strike may not happen after
all.
Before discussing anything further, I want to remind you of
something very important. As I have requested previously, please bring with you
an official document from the church or civil authority confirming that you are
free to marry. Ideally, this document should be countersigned by two witnesses
and bear an official stamp. Additionally, it would be best to have a
declaration from your parish priest confirming that you are free from all
impediments to marriage. To ensure there are no complications, it would be wise
to bring both documents—one from the church and one from the civil authority.
Please, Angel, do not forget these documents.
On Sunday, I wrote a two-page letter to Cardinal Seper,
Prefect of the Sacred Congregation of the Doctrine and Faith, asking him to
expedite my laicization. I also explained that if I do not receive it by May
30th, we may have to proceed with a civil marriage. The outcome is uncertain,
but I believe we have done everything possible to support our case. I cannot
think of any further steps that might help.
There is still no news regarding the $300, and I am
anxiously awaiting your replies and your thoughts on this matter. In two days,
I must travel to Toronto for a congress, flying out Saturday night. I will
return to Montreal and spend Sunday at home, which coincides with a family
gathering for Mother’s Day. On Sunday night, I will come back to Ottawa with
Odette and René. So, my next letter—if there is no strike—will be mailed from
Toronto, and next Monday another congress will take place here in Ottawa.
My darling wife, na servam, it is impossible to express the
depth of my loneliness. I feel like a shadow searching for its master, and I
know I will only be satisfied once we are together forever. Angel, “Que chaque
minute nous rapproche”—let each minute bring us closer. Let us hold onto the
Easter joy in our hearts, remembering the good news from last Sunday. Knowing
that I am loved by you and loving you in return gives me a greater
understanding of the Lord’s love for us.
Your Husband, simply craving for you, André
 |
| Reddipalem - 1974 |
May 6, 1970 (91)
My beautiful, marvelous, great, adorable Pearl—my Angel,
Although I just mailed you my Tuesday aerogram last night
and it is only Wednesday, I cannot help but write to you again.
I am simply overwhelmed with joy and must share my
happiness. Upon returning to my apartment last night, before heading over to
Odette and René's home to babysit (as they were out for the evening), I
received both your aerogram and one from Anasuya. Now you know the good
news—you have received your $300. Anasuya mentioned that, in fact, the amount
was only $279 in U.S. currency.
This is perfectly fine, as I made a small mistake when
instructing my bank to send $300. I forgot to specify that I wanted it in U.S.
dollars, so they sent Canadian dollars instead. When the money was sent abroad,
the Canadian funds were converted to U.S. currency, which resulted in $279.
Everything is settled on this matter, and I am relieved.
There is even more reason to be glad. There will be no
strike at the Canadian post office, at least not before May 19th. Until then,
we will have no issues with our correspondence. After the 19th, nothing is
certain, but discussions between the government and postal workers continue,
and there is a strong possibility that an agreement will be reached. Let us
pray and hope for the best.
Regarding your upcoming arrival, there are a few important
matters to address. First, I have not yet received an answer to my request for
an appointment with the notary for our civil marriage. I am a little concerned,
as it is crucial to have this arranged before June 1st. However, there is still
a reasonable amount of time before we need to worry. Second, I am awaiting a
response from Rome to my letter sent to Cardinal Seper. It is still too early
to expect an answer, as I only sent the letter on Monday. Third, I need
confirmation from you that you have received your plane ticket from BOAC, with
assurance that the problematic BOAC officer will not be boarding your flight,
and that you are truly coming on the 30th. Please, as soon as you are able, let
me know about this matter.
Angel, Nive Na Premam.
Your Husband forever, André
May 9, 1970 (92-1)
My dearest wife, my Angel,
It is Sunday morning at 7h45 AM, and I find myself alone in an
hotel room in Toronto as I prepare for the final day of the congress. I feel
compelled to write you my weekly long letter, longing deeply for your presence
by my side. The room here is much better than the one in Manila—cleaner and
quieter. During the two days when I was not engaged in conversations and
discussions about development issues at the congress, I kept imagining how
wonderful it would be for us to spend time together in Toronto. The yearning to
be with you has become overwhelming; my love, I cannot wait any longer to
embrace you, to kiss you, to make love to you, and to care for you every day of
my life.
Yesterday, I read in the newspapers that a strike at the
post office seems almost unavoidable, potentially beginning on May 19th. This
may disrupt our correspondence, especially since you mentioned in your last
letter that you intend to leave Reddipalem around May 24th or 25th, aiming to
arrive by the 29th. If this is the case, my last letter to you would be sent on
May 18th, and you would receive it just before your journey. However, I am
concerned that any letters you send between May 12th and 25th might not reach
me, and if there is anything important, I might never know. Therefore, Angel,
if you have something crucial to share, please write to me before May 10th—even
though it is already May 9th as I look at my watch. Nevertheless, I trust that
you have already sent the important details regarding your trip.
At this point, I still do not know officially when you will
be arriving. It is very important for me to know, as I do not want to be late
at the airport. While I can always inquire about the flight details, I am
waiting eagerly for your letter confirming the exact time, flight number, and
schedule. I hope to receive this information soon, but if not, I will contact
BOAC directly to ensure I know which plane you are on—there is nothing in the
world that could make me miss your arrival at Dorval-Montreal airport, and I
promise that I will be there.
I have already arranged an appointment with the notary for
our civil marriage, scheduled for June 1st at 9h00 AM. You will need to bring
your passport and an authentic birth certificate. There is always a possibility
that, upon arrival in Montreal, customs or officials may ask to take your
passport. Under no circumstances should you give it to them. If any issues arise,
I will be waiting at the gates—ask for me and I will come to help you. Please,
do not forget this important detail.
Regarding your trip, please inform the BOAC staff in Bombay
to attach the Montreal ticket to your luggage. This way, upon arrival in
London, you will not have to worry about your luggage, and it will arrive in
Montreal at the same time as you. In Montreal, I will be there to assist you.
Additionally, when you reach London, go immediately to the BOAC agency at the
airport to confirm your London-Montreal ticket. Please, do not forget this
step, and remember to eat while you are there.
Canada is warming up, though it is still spring and quite
cool. If possible, before your trip, buy something warm to wear over your
sari—an overcoat or a sweater—just as you did during your stay in the USA.
Your recent letters reveal how difficult it is for you to
leave your family, and I acknowledge the sacrifices they are making. I wish I
could be the one coming to you instead, to make things easier for you. Please
reassure yourself and your family that you are not leaving India for good; we
shall return soon, possibly bringing our child with us—a beautiful child, the
best of both of us. Looking ahead, I would very much like to immigrate with you
to India. Whether this will be possible, I do not yet know, but together we
will carefully discuss all aspects and make the best decision for our future.
So, Angel, do not be sad. Tell your parents not to be sad—it is only for a
while.
In the coming days, I will write a letter to your parents,
thanking them and assuring them of my commitment to care for you and explaining
the measures I have taken for your security. On Monday morning, I will send you
an aerogram with the names, addresses, and phone numbers of my parents,
brothers, and sisters. If anything happens—though nothing will—when you arrive
in Dorval-Montreal, you will have someone to call or a place to go. We are all
waiting for you.
Your last letter made me smile, reminding me of the Angel
who lies beside me and teases me, always wanting to have the last word.
Remember, darling, our life is not a tragedy, but a wonderful story. When we
share this story with our children someday, I am sure they will listen in
amazement.
Of course, I will only truly celebrate when we have received
my laicization and are officially united in the sacrament of matrimony. Then,
with all my love and dedication, I will embrace you with fervor, holding you
close and cherishing every moment together—time itself will seem to stop as we
are united in happiness. My love for you is boundless; I would give my life for
you and endure anything for your sake. Angel, you are my reason for being.
It is now 11h00 AM, and I am in the congress, which is very
important for my organization, CCIC. During this event, there may be a mandate
for CCIC to become a coordinating body for all development agencies, which will
impact my future with CCIC. A plenary session will soon begin, but I am
determined to finish this letter and mail it before noon. The congress will end
at 5h00 PM, after which I will walk to the bus station, thinking of you and
feeling lonely.
The walk will be good exercise for me. I will then take the
bus to the airport, arriving around 6h00 PM, and wait until my plane to
Montreal departs at 9h00 PM. I should arrive in Montreal by 10h00 PM., where
Robert, René, or Jacques will be waiting for me. Tonight, the family will
gather to celebrate Mother’s Day; I will be late, but better late than never.
Sunday night, I will drive back to Ottawa with René and
Odette, and on Monday, another conference awaits—this time focused on world
food and development. May is truly a month of conferences and congresses for
me.
Now it is 12h10 PM, and as you can see, I am still fighting
to finish this letter amidst speeches and discussions. When we are together, we
will finally have all the time we need to talk and share. At 12h20 PM, the
plenary session is over, and it is lunchtime, but I am determined to finish
this letter for you.
When I mentioned to Monique that you might stay with her,
she was delighted and spoke of preparing a lovely room for you, complete with
new curtains. Upon reflection, I think it is better to wait until your arrival
so that you can decide where you want to stay. Monique also said that if you do
not like the place, you are free to choose otherwise. What do you think? Is it
better for her to wait until you arrive before preparing for your room? We can
decide together when you arrive.
As I approach the end of this page, I am finding it
difficult to concentrate amid the noise and conversations around me. Angel,
only 20 days remain until your arrival—a little more than three weeks.
I am truly excited and dream about you constantly. I am
certainly with you in spirit. Nive Na premam, jeevam, servam. Yes, I will learn
Telugu and Hindi, but only one language at a time.
Your Husband, kissing you with all his heart, André
May 12, 1970 (92-2)
My Angel darling,
As the days draw closer to your arrival, I find myself
increasingly unable to stay in one place. The anticipation is overwhelming—your
arrival is so near, yet still feels so far away. I have not yet received your
official confirmation that you will arrive on May 30th. Still, this date seems
destined to be the most marvelous and happy day of our lives.
When I returned from Montreal on Sunday night, another
letter from you was waiting for me. Thank you, darling, for your effort to
write me more often. In your letter, you mentioned being on the train to
Hyderabad and shared that the BOAC officer—the rubbish man—had already made
your reservation for the 2h15 AM flight on May 30th. This matches exactly what
I received here in Ottawa. There is no other appropriate flight that allows you
to:
- Arrive during the weekend
- Come before June 1st
- Avoid an overnight stay in London
Given these conditions, the conclusion is clear: you are
coming Saturday, May 30th, in the afternoon. Even without official
confirmation, I will be at the airport on May 30th. My feelings tell me that
perhaps today—Tuesday—you will write to confirm you are indeed coming that day.
Angel, life is increasingly unbearable as I wait to see you and be with you. You are constantly in my thoughts and in my body. This morning, lying in bed, my longing for you was a real torment. I wanted to kiss you, to embrace you, to be one with you—it was very hard. My entire being was turned toward you, and my desire was intense. I did nothing but remind myself that in only 18 days, I will hold you in my arms—less than three weeks remain. Even now, as I write these lines, I feel your presence.
 |
| Jacques, Monique et Piko |
Your room will be ready for the 30th. Monique and Jacques
are wonderful, and Monique told me she wants you to feel free. If, for any
reason, you do not like the place or have another concern, she would not mind
at all. Both Monique and Jacques simply want to help us. I am confident that
things will continue to work out as they have so far. This is truly wonderful.
Darling, I think of your family and how they must feel as
your departure approaches. Please tell them it is not the end. Very soon, you
and I will return. Increasingly, I think about establishing ourselves in India
or elsewhere in Asia—if only I can be sure of finding work. Of course, we will
need to discuss this matter seriously, considering the welfare of our family
and children. But I am not too worried. The Lord has guided us since the
beginning of our encounter, and I trust He will continue to show us the way
forward.
I am sending you a photo of our new car, which Robert, my
brother, took on a rainy day two weeks ago. Do you like the color? It is not
exactly as it appears in the photo; it looks like two colors, but in reality,
the car is a kind of maroon. Personally, I do not care much for this
color—perhaps you will like it, since our tastes differ. I chose it because it
was a bargain. You know I would have preferred yellow or orange, maybe even
pink, as I enjoy passionate colors. I say this in jest.
 |
| Toyota Crown |
On the next page, I will type out the complete addresses of
Monique, Robert, and my parents, along with their phone numbers. This is just a
precaution: if, for any reason, you arrive at Montreal airport and no one is
there to meet you, you will be able to contact one of the family members. But
do not worry—I will be there at the airport.
|
Name |
Address |
Phone Number |
|
Mr. & Mrs. Leo
Paul Gingras (My Parents) |
730 rue Roland Forget,
Laval (Duvernay), P.Q. |
1-667-0757 (home), 1-669-2515 (grocery) |
|
Mr. &
Mrs. Robert Gingras (My Brother) |
2310 Blv. De Blois, Laval -Duvernay
West, P.Q. |
1-667-6920 |
|
Mr. & Mrs. Jacques
Brosseau (My Sister) |
593 rue Joliette,
Repentigny |
1-581-4935 |
Note: For the phone numbers, you must dial 1 before the actual number because
calls from the Montreal Dorval airport to the homes of my parents, Robert, and
Monique are long-distance. On Fridays and Saturdays, my parents are at the
grocery store, which is why I have included their business phone number as
well.
Beloved Na premam, I must end this letter here as I have
work to do. I am in my office; it is 10h50 AM, and the weather is sunny and
pleasant—the leaves are just starting to emerge, promising a beautiful day for
May 30th. I still need to write the letter to your parents this week,
especially since a postal strike in Canada is likely on May 19th. Next week, I
will send it. I love you, Angel, more than myself. This morning in bed proved
it. Let us thank the Lord for His goodness.
Your Husband, André
May 14, 1970 (94-1)
Dearest
I wanted to let you know that I have
written a letter for your family. Before you give it to them, please read it
yourself and decide if it is suitable. If you feel it is not appropriate to
share, please keep it with you instead.
Today in Ottawa, there is no mail service. It is not the
strike that I mentioned previously, but rather what is called a "study
session." The workers are not performing their regular duties; instead,
they are engaged in studying their issues, which in practice feels very much
like a strike. I am hopeful that by tonight, this so-called "study
session" will conclude and the workers will vote on whether to proceed
with a strike on May 19th.
My darling, these days are incredibly difficult for me. I am
counting down each day until your arrival, but every minute seems to pass so
slowly. The wait feels almost unbearable—there are still sixteen long days to
go. My love for you grows stronger with every passing day, and I find myself
yearning and longing for you more than ever.
Last night, I shared the news of your probable arrival on
May 30th with Odette. She expressed how eager she is to meet you and told me
that she has even dreamt of you many times.
With all my devotion,
Nive na Servam!
Your Husband, André
May 15, 1970 (94-2)
Angel darling, my beloved,
It is Friday morning at 8h35 AM, and I am beginning what may
be my last letter before your arrival. Today, I will devote myself to finishing
this long message by 5h00 PM. This may truly be the final chance to write
before the general strike of the postal service in Canada begins, which is
almost certain to start next Tuesday. With the weekend approaching and Monday
being a holiday celebrating Queen Victoria, the post office will not be
functioning. Therefore, I must write and send this letter immediately.
Even if, after Tuesday, I do not receive any letters from
you due to the strike—perhaps until it ends—I remain grateful and thankful to
the Lord. We have been able to communicate regularly, except for the
difficulties caused by your dear "Sisters." All important decisions
and arrangements have been made: you have received your plane ticket and the
money, including the $50. Now, I am sure you are coming on May 30th. Yesterday,
I received double confirmation: first, BOAC called to inform me of your arrival
on the last Saturday of this month, confirming the flight number and your
arrival time at 2h15 PM. Their service was excellent. Then, I returned to my
apartment and found your aerogram with the same details. I am so glad.
It has been hard to sleep, eat, or work—I feel almost
compelled to write to you during work hours. It is very difficult to
concentrate because I am always thinking about you and your imminent arrival.
There are still fifteen days—two unbearable weeks—that feel as long as an
entire year without you, darling.
Yesterday, I sent the letter to your parents. I mailed it to
you first, because I wanted you to read it and decide if your parents would
appreciate it. Angel, we truly are one now, and I rely on your advice when
thinking for both of us—about our car, our families, and other matters. It is
wonderful to discover your points of view when planning together, and I am
certain our life will always be a great unity of mind, heart, and body.
Yes, darling Angel, let us show everyone in our families
that interracial marriage is not only possible, but is a great asset,
especially for us.
In response to your letter about the second point you
raised—regarding my letter to Rome—I agree that I could have written earlier. I
did not, for several reasons: I expected to receive laicization before May 2nd,
as the chancellery advised me not to be too pushy with Rome. When it became
clear that nothing was happening and that it would take more months, and with
the obligation of civil marriage, I realized it was necessary to write to Rome
and explain the urgency of our situation. I do not know if they will respond,
but I hope and pray they do. There was a general strike in Rome last week, but
the Vatican is not Rome, so I hoped our letter would not be affected. However,
with the strike here now, I remain confident. The Lord has been so good to us
thus far; I am sure he will continue to help us. Let us pray, darling, and
sweet Angel.
It is Friday, and with the long weekend ahead, I may have to
work in Montreal on Monday, but that is not yet certain. For now, I am acting
as if I will return to work only next Tuesday. Tomorrow, I will go directly to
Monique and Jacques to discuss your welcome. Yesterday, Monique told me that
during my visit on Saturday, I could help Jacques arrange something for you.
She realized that your room lacks a mirror, but there is a large mirror on the
door of their room, which she does not use. Discussing with Jacques, they
decided the simplest solution would be to switch the doors, so your room will
have the mirror. The doors are heavy, so Jacques will use my visit to handle
this task. I am as excited about preparing your room and changing the doors as
I am about waiting for you at the airport.
This morning, before getting up, I imagined our first
moments together—what we would say and do. Eventually, I decided not to
rehearse; everything will happen naturally. I know only that at 2h15 PM on
Saturday, May 30th, you will arrive, and I will be there. I will take your
luggage, and together we will find a place—a hotel or motel—to be ourselves and
speak freely until the next day. On Sunday, we will go to Mass and then to
Jacques and Monique’s for the night, ready for our appointment with the Notary
the following day.
Angel, how are you? How is your family? You must be very
busy, and I hope your work helps ease your departure from your family and
India, even if only for a while. You always tell me how much you long for me,
but I am the luckiest one—I was truly blessed by the Lord when I met you. How
is it that you love me and not another? I feel so small and have such
admiration for you—a great woman in a small, beautiful body with extraordinary
will.
Every time I reflect on all you have done for us since our
painful departure—a departure that is now happy because it freed us for one
another—I am amazed. You overcame your fears, won your freedom with your
community, won the heart of your family, and convinced them about your coming
to Canada. Now, Angel, na jeevam, you are not afraid to come alone by plane to
join me. My heart overflows with gratitude and tender love for you. I wonder
how I will ever behave at your level, but I am not too scared. I feel energetic
and strong, ready to give you happiness, security, and love. I take my
responsibilities seriously, but I am not afraid, for after May 30th, I will not
be alone. You will be by my side, and together we will build a beautiful
future. Do you think so, Angel?
Our future will be different from others—different from the
lives of my family and yours—because we are unique. We will not follow
convention blindly; every step and move will be made for both of us, and later
for our children. We both know that we must become specialists in communication
and interpersonal relations.
The happiness and greatness of our family depend on our
openness to one another—the only way to solve our problems and maintain our
originality. I must become a better talker, as you know I do not like to talk,
but perhaps that is changing. I suffered so much this year from not being able
to express myself to you, but I gained so much practice by writing you so many
letters. In fact, Angel, I am not too afraid about talking; I believe with you,
I will always be able to say what I feel. However, I am much more aware of the
need to listen. I must become a champion at listening—not only to your words,
but to what is behind them. I want to be able to read your eyes, to decipher
your heart before you speak, to sense your needs, feelings, and wishes. I pray
that, by your touch, I may intuit what you want to tell me. So, Angel darling,
talking is good, but listening is even more important. Would you agree?
Now it is 1h27 PM. Writing this letter has been
challenging—already five pages—but I hope to finish before 5h00 PM so I can
post it. As I write, I am eating the sandwich I made this morning in my
apartment. This is my lunch. Angel, how was your meeting with Anasuya? Did she
show you my letter thanking her for her help, and telling her that we both hope
to return to India soon? Perhaps Anasuya will come to Canada or the USA for
further studies before we go back to India. She is very talented, and I suspect
we will meet again and you will renew your wonderful friendship.
This weekend in Montreal, I will officially tell all my
family members about your arrival at the end of May. Monique, Jacques, Odette,
and René already know. I will tell Father, Mother, and my other brothers—they
will be glad and will want to come to the airport.
However, I will ask to be alone with you first, and I am
sure they will understand. In exactly fifteen days, I will be anxiously walking
in the corridor of Dorval airport, waiting for your plane’s arrival. It is such
a long wait! Angel, let us thank the Lord for the long path we have walked
together—one of heart, hand in hand, even while separated by oceans and
thousands of miles. Let us keep smiling.
I kiss you with all my emotions, with love. I hug you with
fervor.
Nive na PremAA!
Your lonely, impatient Husband, André