September 1, 1972 (1)
Dearest,
How are you managing these days? And how is
our beloved Eric? I have been thinking a lot about the two of you and AM
especially concerned about Eric’s condition. After my departure, did you take
him to the hospital? Was the doctor able to put in stitches for his lip? I
imagine his lip must be quite painful, and he may be finding it hard to eat.
Please let me know how he is coping.
Have you had the chance to see the doctor
yourself regarding your ear? I am anxious to hear about your health as well.
How was the trip back home after we parted?
I suspect it must have been very exhausting for you. Were you able to buy
everything you needed while in Hyderabad? I am hopeful and praying that Eric
will begin eating better now that you are both settled in.
There are so many questions running through
my mind. Please write to me soon—today if possible—at the address provided on
this aerogram and let me know how things are going for you both.
As for my journey, the trip to Saigon went
well, though it was quite demanding emotionally. It is never easy to leave
behind those we hold so dear. I arrived in Bombay at 11:30 PM and checked in at
the Taj Mahal hotel by midnight; the hotel is quite far from the airport (the
taxi fare was 18 rupees). The next morning, I woke up at 6h00 AM and headed
straight to the airport. I was a little worried, as I had not been able to
confirm my flight to Saigon the night before, but everything worked out in the
end. I landed in Saigon at 6h00 PM, after a one-hour stopover in Bangkok, where
members of the Canadian delegation were waiting for me.
I am currently staying at the Continental
Hotel. This morning, I went to see the villa that has been reserved for us, and
this afternoon, at 2h30 PM, I am going to collect our belongings that have
already arrived by plane. I will write to you again tomorrow, as I must leave
now for these arrangements.
 |
| Hotel Continental, Saigon, Vietnam |
The working hours here are from 8h00 AM to
1h00 PM; after that, we are theoretically free for the rest of the day.
Sending all my love and a kiss to both you
and Eric. I miss you deeply. Please also give my regards and love to the whole family.
Yours with love, André
September 2, 1972 (2)
Dearest,
How are you? How is our son Eric Ratna?
Hope that if I would be with you now, I would see a tincture more recomforting
than the one at the airport of Hyderabad! Are you settled? Is Eric eating well?
Here life is ok in as much as it can be without you. Yesterday, after writing aerogram
# 1, I went with another Canadian to the customs, to have taken our belongings
which all arrived by air. Therefore, nothing is to come by sea. It was big
containers. Everything, except one board of a bookshelf which has bump, rest in
good shape. The stuff was loaded on a truck and brought to the quarters of the Canadian
delegation. It is stored there while waiting to be sent to the villa when
rented. Today this afternoon, I went to visit the villa mentioned to us in
Canada. It is very big: 1st floor, garage + quarters for servants, 2nd
floor living room, dining room, kitchen; second floor bedrooms. The Villa is
very dirty and repairs must be done. I am not too convinced that this is the
right place for us. Before .... any decision on this matter. I will try to
investigate other possibilities and see other villas. The minute I put feet at
the office; I started to work full speed. Lot of confusion + disorder.
Therefore, I will have to do lot of cleaning in the papers, projects, programs
at the beginning. As I told you yesterday, working hours are from 8h00 AM to 1h00
PM. With this, if I do not overtime, life can be very boring. What to do at the
hotel? Furthermore, I do not like too much to start close friendships with the
other Canadians of the delegation, bachelors, most of them, they visit night
clubs, drinks, seem to go with call girls, etc.... Therefore, do not worry, I
will have plenty of time to write you, one letter every day. In mind, as I did
for a year before our marriage. I will continuously be with you, with Eric and
with my Indian family. Dear Bala, take good, very good care of yourself and of
Eric. I kiss you and long for you. Write me soon about your trip back to
Reddipalem... (Editorial note: Native village of Angel) and do not hide
anything. I love you so much, more than ever. Many kisses for Eric. Respects to
brothers, father and mother.
Your Husband, André
September 3, 1972 (3)
Dearest,
It is 4h00 PM and I have just returned from
visiting the villa. The property is quite spacious and impressively clean;
however, I noticed that the air conditioning system is not functioning properly
and, unfortunately, the furniture is rather poor. Yesterday, I had the
opportunity to tour two other villas, and next Tuesday I am scheduled to view
another one. Given all these options, I think it would be best to wait a week
or two before making any final decision regarding our future residence.
How are you? Have you managed to rest a bit
after all the excitement of last week? I hope you have found some time to
relax. I cannot help but worry about Eric. I imagine our son with his swollen
lip, which must make it difficult for him to eat and regain his strength and
weight. I am also concerned about his chin—will it leave a lasting mark? It
would be so unfortunate if it did. Furthermore, I am thinking about the onset
of diarrhea he experienced. Has it passed? I trust you are caring for him
diligently, even though you are far from the comforts of Hyderabad. I know how
challenging that can be.
This morning, during Mass at 8h30 AM at the
cathedral of Saigon, I prayed earnestly for both you and Eric. I also
remembered to thank the Lord for His kindness. He has truly blessed us by
allowing us to return so quickly to our Indian family and by giving you and
Eric the chance to stay a little longer than originally planned. Cherish this
opportunity and make the most of your time there.
Yesterday afternoon, I met with the
Canadian Jesuits and had lunch with Louis Robert and Brother Lionel Tremblay. (Editorial
note: Jesuits and friend who had been sailing with André to Taiwan) They
have offered to help us find a suitable villa, and in fact, accompanied me
during the visits to the two villas mentioned earlier. Their assistance is
invaluable as we search for the right home.
Tomorrow, after work, I plan to settle
matters at the bank and perhaps visit the tailor to order a couple of very
light safari suits, which should cost about $12.00. I am feeling well, although
somewhat out of sorts; it feels as though half of myself is not here, as I am
missing you and Eric deeply.
I send you and our son very sweet kisses
and a warm embrace, my love. I hope you have already received my first aerogram
and have had a chance to reply. Please give my best regards to father, mother,
and my brother-in-law.
With all my love, André
September 4, 1972 (4)
My dearest,
I hope this letter finds you well. How are
you? And how is Eric doing? I am patiently awaiting your first letter and
sincerely hope it will arrive soon, bringing good news from both of you.
Yesterday, after finishing my third letter
to you, I went out to have a quick meal—a club sandwich—and afterwards joined a
couple of other Canadians to watch a film that was being shown in one of the
hotel rooms. Each week, three films are sent to us from Canada, and they are
screened for the Canadian community, usually on Fridays and Sundays.
Unfortunately, the movie we watched last night was not very good, and to make
matters worse, I was not feeling well. I had a headache and a high fever,
likely caused by too much exposure to artificial air conditioning. When I
returned to my room around 11h00 PM, I took three aspirins and went straight to
bed, making sure to turn off the air conditioner. Thankfully, when I woke up
this morning, I felt completely recovered—no more fever or discomfort—and ready
to tackle a productive day at work.
This morning was significant as I had my
first meeting with the High Commissioner. He is a good man, around my age,
perhaps a year younger. During our conversation, he emphasized that my top
priority should be to settle in, secure a villa, and arrange for you and Eric
to join me as soon as possible. I assured him that I am working diligently on
these matters. He also mentioned that the government might be able to purchase
the necessary furniture for our villa in Hongkong, which is promising. So,
while progress may seem slow, things are steadily moving forward.
Later in the day, I visited the tailor to
have a safari suit made. The cost is 6,000 Vietnamese dollars (with the current
exchange rate being 430 Viet$ to 1 Canadian$). I have not yet exchanged any
of my traveller’s cheques, and I do not plan to do so for now, as I have been
advised against it. At the moment, I do not require much money since the
government is covering all my expenses. When I do need funds, I can simply
write a cheque to my account in Canada, and the bank here will provide me with
the equivalent amount in Vietnamese currency.
Have you written to our parents in Canada?
If you have not done so yet please remember to send them a letter. As soon as I
am able, I will write to Anasuya, Marreddy, Lourdhu, Raja, father, and mother
myself.
Sending sweet kisses and warm embraces to
you and to Eric. Please take good care of him and yourself. Write to me soon,
my love.
With all my affection, André
September 5, 1972 (5)
Dearest,
I hope this letter finds you well. How are
you, and how is our son? Please give him a kiss from me. I am eagerly awaiting
your response—have you written to me already? Is your letter on its way? I
truly hope so.
Did you enjoy your time at home? I trust
you had meaningful conversations with your father, mother, brothers, and their
wives. Has Raja’s wife returned home? It is unfortunate that I could not meet
her, but of course it was not our fault that she went to her parents’ home.
There is little we can do about that.
I often wonder what your days are like. Do
you find moments to rest? Is Eric feeling better now? I hope he is enjoying
himself, playing with his brother and Lalitha. My mind is filled with
questions, yet I am still waiting for answers.
Life here is rather dull without you. My
routine is simple: I get up at 7h00 AM, wash, and have breakfast. At 7h45 AM,
the chauffeur arrives to take me to the office. Today was cleaning day at the
office, so I spent time tidying my workspace. It was quite dirty, but it is
much improved now, and I feel ready to begin working in earnest. I threw away a
considerable amount of garbage.
I spoke with a few Canadians today about
purchasing a radio hi-fi and a television from Hong Kong. It appears that
obtaining these items without travelling there is quite straightforward, as
many others have managed to buy their electronic equipment this way. This is
likely the route we will take. I am also considering ordering silverware,
glassware, and possibly a set of China ware from Hong Kong, which could be paid
for using our hospitality allowance. These items will be useful when we host
guests. Rest assured, I will discuss and decide everything with you before
finalizing any purchases.
Last evening, I was invited to supper with
the Jesuits, where I met many friends and former classmates. The experience
reminded me of the grace I received when I left the society, and it was a good
occasion for me to reflect on the happiness we share. Let us thank the Lord for
this blessing.
Take good care of yourself and of Eric.
Sending sweet kisses and warm embraces to both of you.
With love, André
September 6, 1972 (6)
Dearest,
It has now been a full week since I left
you in Hyderabad, and my thoughts remain with you and Eric every day. The
questions of your well-being and Eric’s health are at the forefront of my mind,
and I eagerly await your first letter—surely it will arrive soon.
Life in Saigon is marked by daily rains,
and I find myself wondering if you are experiencing similar weather. I continue
to hope and pray fervently for the success of the crops.
Today, at 4h00 PM, I am preparing to attend
a cocktail from 6h00 to 7h30 PM This morning, I participated in a ceremony
attended by many Vietnamese ministers, ambassadors, and other distinguished
guests. Last night, I was present at a cocktail event from 7h00 to 8h30 PM,
where I met numerous new faces from various nationalities. Despite its
diversity, the diplomatic community here feels quite small and interconnected,
and I suspect you will find it much the same when you arrive.
Regarding bank arrangements, I advise you
not to visit the bank just yet. I discovered that a letter of introduction from
the Canadian High Commission is required, so I have prepared this document and
plan to go tomorrow. Tomorrow is also the day I expect to receive the safari
suit I ordered from the tailor.
Additionally, tomorrow we will make another
attempt to finalize the rental of our villa. My hope is that we can secure this
residence, which, although very spacious, I believe you will appreciate. The
main challenges to resolve with the landlord remain the furnishings and the
installation of adequate air conditioning.
My longing for you is constant, and my only
comfort is knowing you are with our Indian parents, even if only for a few
weeks. I trust that you are well and that Eric is in good health. I must admit
that I am worried about Eric; the last image I have of him is vivid and
troubling. Please update me honestly about his condition—do not hold anything
back.
I send infinite kisses and embraces to you
both, along with my respect to our parents.
With all my love, André
September 7, 1972 (7)
Dearest,
It looks as if the communication between
India and Saigon are not so good. I am still waiting for your first letter.
Have you started to receive mine? You should by now.
This morning before going to work, went once
more to visit the villa visited Sunday in preparation for a meeting tonight at
7h00 PM with its landlord. Hope to be able to arrange a deal. Part of the house
outside and inside should be painted; better furnishers should be installed
etc.... We will discuss these matters to night. I try to conclude the business.
This house is however not free before October 1st. This morning also
went to the Banque Française d’ Asie” was introduced to the manager by one of
the Canadian. No problem now. This morning, I made a check to the bank for $US
100.00 Till now, I was living with very little money. I will need money to pay
the tailor today. I did not cash my travellers checks I keep them. And you, darling,
how are you? How is Eric? These two
questions are always in my mind waiting to be answered. It is very hard to be
so far from one another. It is a way to realize still better how our love is
strong and deep and based on solid ground. Our relation is eternal.
Tomorrow is Friday. Already a week of work
for me and for you a week in your family. Is Eric catching Telugu? Is he adopting
well? Is he playing well? How are his lips and chin, curing well without any
consequences? Did he overcome his beginning of diarrhea? Is healing well?
Dearest, it is already time to go. You see, without any promises on my part, I am
writing every day. Please do so also. I kiss you and embrace you with all the
love of my heart. Please kiss our son for me.
Your Husband, André
September 8, 1972 (8)
Dearest,
I have yet to receive a letter from you,
and I anxiously await your first one, which I know will bring me immense
relief. I continue to hope and pray for your good health and for Eric’s
well-being. This morning, I wrote letters home and to Odette—have you also
written to them?
Regarding the villa, I am happy to share
that it is now morally rented, and I anticipate being able to move in on
1972-10-10. The landlord, an elderly lady, has agreed to paint both the
exterior and interior of the house, at least in part, and is willing to
purchase the furniture I have requested. Although this will mean a slight
increase in the monthly rent, it will not impact our share, which will remain
at $205. I truly hope you will like the house once you see it.
Now, I have begun searching for suitable
servants. My current plan is to hire one lady cook and one maid, with a
part-time gardener to assist as needed. I would appreciate your thoughts on
this arrangement, as I believe that once I find someone with excellent
references, I should employ her after 1972-10-10. What do you think?
After writing to Canada, I also intend to
write to India and have promised a letter to Anasuya. In brief, I wish to tell
her that she should trust in the love of her parents and mention her mother as
soon as possible. Additionally, I would encourage her to take the lead over her
husband, who, from my perspective, may not possess a particularly strong
character. Do you think I should send her such a letter? I am also planning to
write to Marreddy.
Dearest, have you started to receive my
letters? Have you written back? Is everything well with you and Eric? I am
deeply worried. If anything is amiss, please do not hesitate to write, call, or
cable New Delhi—or even go there directly. From there, plans can easily be
changed, and it would be simple for you and Eric to join me in Saigon. If all
is well and you are enjoying your stay, arranging the remainder of your trip
from Bombay to Saigon, including hotel reservations, will be easy when the time
comes.
Let us keep smiling and remain hopeful. God
loves us. Sending infinite kisses and embraces to both you and Eric.
With love, André
September 9, 1972 (9)
My dearest love,
I am relieved to have finally received word
from you. I am hopeful that my first aerogram, which I wrote on 1972-09-01,
reached you as well. The updates concerning Eric are troubling and not yet
reassuring. I can only imagine how difficult this situation must be for you.
More than anything, I wish I could be by your side, both to support you and to
help shoulder the decisions and responsibilities involved.
I was surprised that you did not mention
visiting the hospital as you had planned to do following my departure from
Hyderabad. Is Eric’s wound healing properly? Please do not keep anything from
me. If you feel that Eric is not improving or not adjusting well, I urge you to
come as soon as possible. It will not be overly complicated; all you would need
to do is confirm in advance by sending your two tickets to Anasuya, who can
assist with Air India for the Wednesday flight to Bombay.
For the flight from Bombay to Saigon with
Air France, you can confirm upon arriving in Bombay. Regarding your hotel
arrangements, you can call from the airport in Bombay to request a room at the
Taj Mahal Hotel or any other reputable hotel with available rooms. I am only
detailing these steps in case you must come unexpectedly, without notifying me
in advance. Otherwise, all that would be required is to confirm the Hyderabad
to Bombay segment. Any further arrangements, such as hotel reservations and
confirmation with Air France, can be handled from Saigon.
If all goes smoothly, I am hopeful in my
heart that you will arrive in Saigon on Thursday, 1972-10-12—if you agree. By
that time, with God’s will, the villa should be rented and our belongings from
Canada moved in. What do you think?
Are you able to rest? Please take good care
of yourself, and in your next letter, give me more news about both you and
Eric. I miss you greatly and send infinite kisses and tender embraces to you
both.
With love, André
September 10, 1972 (10)
My dearest Bala,
Today is Sunday, my second Sunday spent
apart from you. It is 9h00 AM, and I have just returned from breakfast. My priority
this morning is to write to you. After finishing this letter, I plan to read
for a while, and then, at 11h30 AM, I will walk to the cathedral to attend the
noon Mass, which will be held in English. Following Mass, I intend to have a
meal at a restaurant before returning to the hotel, where I will work on my
travel claims report. As you may recall, this report must be submitted within
ten days of my arrival at the post.
Before I forget, regarding your intention
to obtain a receipt for your clothing purchases in Warangal (reference:
Marreddy), please try to secure a receipt for Can$200. If possible, it would be
helpful to obtain a similar receipt for myself, for the same amount, to cover
suits and other items. Yesterday, I received a form from the government
informing us that we must provide an account of the $825 given to us in Ottawa
as soon as possible. Is this arrangement satisfactory?
Now, I would like to offer you some advice
for your upcoming journey to Saigon. As you are aware, you will need to confirm
your flight from Hyderabad to Bombay at the Air-India office in Hyderabad at
least 24 hours prior to departure. Just before boarding the plane, you will be
asked to identify your luggage, which will be placed at the foot of the
aircraft. Once you have identified your bags, they will be loaded onto the
plane.
Upon arrival in Bombay, if your onward
flight to Saigon has already been confirmed from Saigon, proceed directly to
collect your luggage. The baggage area is located outside the airport, at the
extreme right. You will be required to present the tags that were given to you
in Hyderabad.
If the confirmation for your Bombay–Saigon
flight has not yet been made, do not go to collect your luggage immediately.
Instead, head to your left towards the international section of the airport and
approach the Air-India information counter, which also serves as the agent for
Air France in Bombay. After you have confirmed your onward flight, you can then
collect your luggage and take a taxi to your hotel.
Please note that the Taj Mahal Hotel is
quite a distance from the airport, and the taxi fare will be approximately 20
rupees. Once you arrive in your room, ask room service to arrange a wake-up
call for the following morning, likely around 6 a.m. It is best to arrive at
the airport early for your next flight.
Additionally, be aware that there is a
departure tax of 15 rupees per person when leaving Bombay airport. I will
continue with more details tomorrow.
With love and sweet kisses to both you and
Eric, André
September 11, 1972 (11)
My dearest,
Today is Monday, and it is nearly noon. I
had hoped to receive your second letter this morning, but it seems the post
from India is not delivered every day. Let us remain patient. How are you, my
love? And how is Eric? As I mentioned before, I am gradually settling into my
work. There have been no major problems here so far. Still, I look forward to
everything being much better once you are by my side.
Continuing from my previous letter, I would
like to offer you some more advice for your upcoming trip. Before I forget, for
your flight from Bombay to Saigon, it would be better if you do not wear the
sari. Instead, please wear your brown and yellow two-piece outfit. If it is
currently dirty, do not worry—this material is easy to wash and does not
require special cleaning.
During the flight from Bombay to Saigon,
there will be a brief stop of less than an hour at the Bangkok airport. I know
you will be travelling alone with Eric, and that worries me, but please do not
hesitate to ask the stewardesses for help. They are there to assist passengers
throughout the flight.
The journey from Bombay to Saigon should
take about four hours. Remember to set your watch ahead by approximately four
hours to adjust to the local time difference.
Upon your arrival in Saigon, the process
should be straightforward. First, proceed to immigration and present your
passport along with your dismemberment card, which you will have completed on
the plane. I will send you a copy of the customs declaration form in another
letter, as I took an extra copy with me during my own travels.
Something very important to remember with
your passport and dismemberment card, go to the counter designated for holders
of diplomatic passports only. You will likely find yourself alone at this
counter, which is at the far right when you enter the airport. Passing through
customs should be swift, as there is a special section for diplomatic
passports. But do not worry—by that time, I will be there to assist you. The
rest will be easy.
Please try to remember all the advice I
have shared in yesterday's and today's letters, as it will help make your
journey smoother. In the meantime, take good care of yourself and Eric.
With infinite kisses and embraces to both
of you,
Your love, André
September 12, 1972 (12)
Beloved,
Today, I received two aerograms—one dated
1972-08-31 and the other 1972-09-05. Since you mentioned that you are writing
to me every day, mail does not always arrive with a steady flow. We will have
to learn to accept and adapt to this situation. Your two letters have reassured
me, bringing a touch of joy to my heart amid the loneliness I feel. I am
relieved to know that Eric is feeling a little better.
I am aware of the challenges in keeping
Eric from being spoiled, and I understand how difficult it can be to manage.
Even so, please try to be firm and consistent with him. When it comes to your
requests, focus on a few important routines. For example, encourage him to
always sit in the same place for meals and to go to bed at the same hour each
night, even if he protests. Do not feel the need to insist on constant
obedience throughout the day; rather, concentrate your efforts on these key
points.
And you, my love, how are you? Are you able
to rest well? For my sake, please ensure that you do. Resist the temptation to
visit relatives in remote villages once more—you need to rest. When I left, you
were on the verge of collapsing from exhaustion. Remember, your journey is not
yet complete, and when you arrive here in Saigon, you will need to adjust to a
new life. To do so, you will require all your energy.
Here in Saigon, there are plenty of
soldiers; otherwise, one would not suspect that the country is at war. There is
a curfew from 11h00 PM. to 6h00 AM, and nobody is allowed in the streets during
those hours. Nevertheless, war is never far away, and everyone agrees that if
anything were to happen in Saigon—such as a rocket attack—it would likely occur
before the American elections on 1972-11-04.
Therefore, before I ask you to come for
good on 1972-10-12, I will need to carefully consider the present situation.
However, as things stand now, I do not see any reason why you could not arrive
by that date.
Your letters this morning were deeply
comforting. Yes, we are united—our love continues to grow, especially now that
I am far from you. I realize more than ever that I cannot live without you.
Infinite kisses and embraces to both of
you. André
Editorial note: Letter September 13,
1972 (13) is missing.
September 14, 1972 (14)
Na Jeevan,
Today, I did not receive any letter from
you, so I am looking forward to tomorrow in hopes that some news will arrive.
It has now been half a month since I left you in Hyderabad, and although it is
a relatively short time, it feels like an eternity to me—far too long, though I
know it could not be helped.
How are you? And how is Eric? Is he eating
better these days? I hope he is starting to look a bit plumper, as when I left,
he seemed to be getting skinnier. Please take care to ensure he is healthy. And
you, my dear, be careful not to become too plump yourself—I want to be able to
recognize you when you arrive in Saigon! Of course, I am only joking; I love
you just as you are and as you will be. My real wish is simply that you take
good care of yourself, get plenty of rest, and enjoy your time with your family
as much as possible.
Tomorrow, I will be picking up a new suit
from the tailor. The suit is maroon in colour, made from a light material,
which will be perfect for official occasions here. In fact, I have already had
to wear a suit twice since my arrival for ceremonies, and it was unbearably hot
in my blue suit. That is when I decided to have this new one made. The price is
VN 16,000.00 (at an exchange rate of 430 to 1 Canadian dollar), which comes to
about $40 Canadian.
Yesterday, I also took steps to develop the
film from India. Unfortunately, slides cannot be developed here, or it is
prohibitively expensive, so I will send them to Mother in Montreal. However,
photo colour prints can be made here, so I left the roll and requested two
copies of each print. They will be ready tomorrow, and by Saturday, I will be
able to send you a set to share with our Indian family.
My love, I confess that this time apart
from you is a great sacrifice for me. Nevertheless, as another testament to my
love, I am glad to endure it. Please continue to take good care of Babu.
I send you both infinite kisses and
embraces, with all my love. André
September 15, 1972 (15)
Dearest, my Unique,
There has still been no letter from you
today. I hope that you have started to receive the letters I have sent;
otherwise, I know you would feel terrible. Here at the villa, things are
progressing slowly. This morning, I went to inquire about the furniture. The
prices are very high—comparable to those in Canada, with one room costing
around $1,000. Tomorrow, I am supposed to meet with the landlord to formalize
the lease contract. After that, accompanied by the decorator from the furniture
company, I will return to our villa. He will take measurements and consider how
best to furnish the space. He intends to prepare a drawing with his
suggestions, and if I am satisfied with it, the furniture will be made
accordingly.
My main goal is to ensure that the first
floor, including the dining room, living room, and our bedroom, is properly
furnished. For the rest of the house, I believe the existing items will
suffice. In Eric’s room, there will be one or even two large bureaus, and since
he will eventually sleep in a big bed, I am making sure that a good bed is also
provided for him. It is truly unfortunate that you are not here to participate
in these decisions. Nevertheless, I will do my best to ensure that everything
matches your taste. I am certain you will find the house very spacious and may
even say that it reflects a bit of my megalomania. Keep in mind, though, that
it is very difficult to find a suitable villa here in Saigon.
Bala darling, how are you? How is Babu?
Please take good care of both of you. I miss you deeply and long for your sweet
touch and your presence, to shower you with thousands of kisses. Although this
separation is difficult, it has allowed me to appreciate even more what I am
missing. I am sure that when we are reunited, our life together will be even
more wonderful and our love even deeper. Please do not forget to write to me
every day and share all the news about you and Babou, without hiding anything.
Send my best regards to your father and mother, as well as to your brothers and
sister.
With love, André
September 17, 1972 (16)
Dearest, Na Sarvam,
This Sunday, I woke up at 8h30 AM in good
spirits, with no sign of the sickness I experienced the previous night from the
bad egg sandwich. I had breakfast—toast, scrambled eggs, coffee, and orange
juice—and almost joined the Canadians going to the beach. However, I decided
against it as I had not yet attended Mass and did not want to be late for the 5
h00 PM service at the Cathedral. Instead, I stayed home and re-read your two
most recent letters, which I received yesterday.
Regarding Eric, if you are trying to
address his diarrhoea, you could give him rice water (when you cook rice,
separate the water from the rice and give it to Eric after it is cooked). For
his milk, serve it hot, as hot milk can help with constipation. It is a good
sign if Eric eats and drinks well; he needs to do both to avoid becoming weak.
We must show him our love and, as he grows, teach him to be independent in a
positive way, although he is still too young for this now. His reluctance to be
without you since my departure is understandable and shows his need for
security. We must reassure him that we are always caring for him, even if we
are not always by his side.
If you feel you need to come before October
12th, do not hesitate—come as soon as you think it is right. Tomorrow, I will
send you the photos and some money. I can tell that you are tired and that Eric
is giving you a lot of worry. Do your best, but do not become overly anxious.
Try to rest and enjoy yourself when you can. On my side, I will continue
preparing our home so that you can have happiness and security as soon as you
arrive in Saigon, and for the two years we will spend here.
I love you with all my heart, infinitely.
Kisses to you and to Eric. André
Editorial note: Letters September 18,
1972 (18) and September 19, 1972 (19) are missing.
September 20, 1972 (20)
Dearest,
In just two days, there is a possibility
that you will be with me once more, and we will finally be reunited. Despite
this hope, I continue to write to you because I am not certain of your plans,
and I would not want you to be deprived of one of my letters if you have chosen
to remain in India a little longer.
One concern weighs heavily on my mind: due
to the uncertainty surrounding your arrival, I have hesitated to visit Air
France to confirm your flight or to reserve a room at the Taj Mahal hotel for
tomorrow. The thought troubles me—what if you decide to come later, and I have
already booked seats on the plane and a hotel room?
Today, I anticipated receiving a letter
from you, perhaps with confirmation of your travel—but nothing arrived, not a
single word. I am hoping that by tomorrow morning, I will receive a letter from
you to clarify your intentions. Perhaps you will even send a telegram letting
me know that you are coming, which would allow me to quickly contact Air France
and make all the necessary arrangements.
How much I wish I could be with you and
take on these details myself. My only comfort is knowing that, if you cannot
secure accommodation at the Taj Mahal hotel because I was unable to make a
reservation, you will surely find another good place to stay for the night. I
trust that Rajah, Anu, Lourdhu, or Marreddy will be there to support you with
these matters.
As for the journey from Bombay to Saigon, I
believe it should not be too difficult to arrange, even without advance
confirmation. The Air France flight is a large 747 and was nearly empty when I
travelled on it; even at the last minute, there should be space for you and
Eric. Perhaps you will never read this letter—if that is the case, it will mean
that you and Eric are already with me, which is what I truly hope for in my
heart.
My love, please take good care of yourself
and of Eric.
Nive na Premam, André
 |
| Saigon, Vietnam |
Editorial note: Letter September 21,
1972 (21) is missing.
September 22, 1972 (22)
My dearest, my love,
This evening finds me deeply disappointed.
When I awoke this morning, I fully expected that, by day's end, I would have
the joy of holding you and Eric in my arms. How mistaken I was. In my mind, I
had believed that the Air France flight from Bombay was arriving today and that
you would likely be among its passengers. Unfortunately, there was no flight
today; it arrived yesterday, and you were not on board. I have learned that
there is another flight scheduled for tomorrow, Saturday, and I will certainly
check to see if you might be on it—or perhaps you will come next week, or even
as late as October 12th.
What troubles me most, darling, is that I
have not received any news from you since Monday. I cannot help but worry: are
you or Eric unwell? Have you encountered difficulties in Bombay? I am left
uncertain, and the not knowing weighs heavily on me. Amidst these worries, my
work keeps me occupied. There are many things to tend to—the furnishings for
our villa, countless tasks that require attention. If only you were here with
me. Truly, it is only by loving you so deeply that I can bear this separation,
which feels like a great paradox.
Tomorrow marks the last day of the week
when I might receive a letter from you. I hope fortune will favour me, and I
will hear from you. How are you? And how is Eric? I pray for you both every
day. Rest assured, I will continue to send you my daily letters faithfully,
even if you are already on your way. This, too, is a sign of my enduring love
for you.
Now, as I write, the clock reads 9h25 PM. I
feel very lonely. I will go to bed early, as today has been especially full,
from morning until night, with work and the heavy burden of your absence in my
heart. Please take good care of yourself and continue to look after Eric. Try
to find moments of rest and happiness. If you are happy, I am happy. Kindly
convey my regards to your father, mother, brothers, and sisters-in-law, in the
Western way. I love you and Eric infinitely.
Yours always, André
23 September 1972 (23)
My love,
How are you? How is our son? Today has been
another very busy day, but in this Saturday evening, I find a quiet moment in
my room to share my thoughts with you. All my attention is now focused on next
Thursday—will you come then? In my heart, I am hopeful, yet I try to temper my
expectations, telling myself that you may not arrive before October 10th.
As I mentioned before, I am staying in a
different room. Believing you were coming this week, I went to the hotel
manager to complain that my room was not suitable—too small for you, Eric, and
myself. That same Friday, they provided me with another room, not much better
but an improvement nonetheless.
Today, I received a final bill from
Quebec-Hydro for $1.26, which I will pay by cheque tomorrow. The other day, a
bill arrived from the Ottawa-Journal, and I have also sent them a cheque.
Additionally, I have submitted claims for all the advertisements placed in the
newspapers and for the trip, except for the last part with Eric. Of the $350
advanced, about $55 remains unaccounted for—the last part of your journey
should account for this, and perhaps there may be a surplus in expenses to
claim. Please remember to keep all your receipts.
Dearest, I hope that Eric is feeling
better. I wonder if I will recognize him at the airport; I hope he has not
become too thin or weak. As for you, please take good care of yourself, rest,
and relax. I want you to be at your best when you arrive in Saigon.
My sweet love, my dreams and my loneliness
are filled with thoughts of you. Only by looking forward to our future together
can I endure this current separation. Please give my best regards to our
parents. You are probably back from Mareddy's place—did you continue to write
to me while there? I hope so.
Yours forever—kisses to you and Eric. André
September 24, 1972 (24)
My Love,
Today marks another Sunday spent without
you and Eric, and the absence is deeply felt. I woke up this morning around 8
a.m., took breakfast, and spent some time reading. Since arriving in Saigon, I
have read nearly twenty novels—a small comfort in these quiet hours.
Later in the day, I visited the landlord of
the villa once again. We are very close to finalizing the arrangements. The
landlord has agreed to purchase new furniture, investing approximately 800,000
Vietnamese dong, which is expected to arrive about a week after our move. She
has also committed to having the interior freshly painted, and later, when the
rainy season concludes, the exterior will be attended to as well.
This week, during the contract signing, we
will provide her with an advance payment of $6,000, with the remaining balance
due on the day we take possession of the house. The landlord is requesting an
advance payment equivalent to one year’s rent, meaning that upon our move-in,
she will have received the substantial sum of 250,000 Vietnamese dong for each
month, multiplied by twelve.
Regarding the house, we will need to obtain
upholstery material to cover the living room furniture, and the other armchairs
designated for Vientiane, Laos. The fabric available here in Saigon is of poor
quality, quite costly, and offers little choice. There is a weekly flight
connecting Saigon to Vientiane, returning the following day. As such, I may travel
to Vientiane myself on Tuesday to purchase the necessary materials, as well as
additional bedsheets, towels, and other items if they are more reasonably
priced there. Should I be unable to go, I will arrange for someone in Vientiane
to buy the materials on our behalf and send them to us as soon as possible.
My dearest, I want you to know that I am
working diligently to ensure everything will be perfect in our house. With all
my heart, I hope you and Eric will be able to come this week, on the 28th. Not
only would it be a joy to be reunited, but your arrival at that time would also
be most practical. You would have the chance to make decisions regarding the
house, and to select the cook and the maid. It is unfortunate that I cannot
reach you quickly enough to share this message in person.
Please take great care of yourself and of
Eric. I send you both my infinite love.
Always yours, André
September 25, 1972 (25)
My sweet tiger, my love,
I hope this letter finds you and Eric both
well. I am filled with anticipation and, to be honest, a bit of uncertainty as
I write these lines. My greatest wish is that this letter will be
unnecessary—that you will arrive in Saigon this Thursday and will never have to
read it in India. Every part of me hopes for your imminent arrival.
As I mentioned in my letter yesterday, my
travel plans are now confirmed. Tomorrow, I will depart Saigon in the morning
around 10h00 AM, heading to Vientiane, Laos. I expect to arrive there by 2h00 PM.
The main purpose of this journey is to purchase the required materials for the
furniture, as well as towels and bedsheets, if I find them at a more reasonable
price than in Saigon. During my stay, I also plan to have a thorough discussion
with the individual responsible for Aid in Vientiane. If time permits, I intend
to visit one or two Canadian families who have been sent to teach in the
schools there by CIDA. The following morning, I will catch the plane back to
Saigon, arriving around 3h00 PM. on Wednesday. And the next day—could it truly
be? —I hope you will join me here.
Earlier today, I spoke with the
commissioner. While we are still waiting to move into our villa, there is a
possibility that we could temporarily occupy another villa, previously used by
the Indian delegation, as they are relocating to Hanoi by the end of this
month. The arrangements should be finalised this week, but this is not my main
concern. What matters most to me is your arrival, which I hope will be this
Thursday. Since I do not have confirmation of your travel plans, I am unable to
make any reservations for you with Air France or at the hotel. You will
therefore need to make your own arrangements upon arrival. Fortunately, I know
you have received my two previous letters containing detailed instructions,
which should assist you in navigating the journey.
Regrettably, I did not receive any letter
from you today, and I do not expect to receive one tomorrow since I will be in
transit to Vientiane. Only upon my return to Saigon on Wednesday do I hope to
find a letter from you, perhaps bearing the joyful news I am longing to hear.
As you can see, I am genuinely craving your
presence. I am also incredibly anxious to see Eric and to hold you both in my
arms. That day, when it comes, will be a true blessing.
Bala, my angel, please take great care of
yourself and of Eric. I love you both infinitely.
Yours forever, André
Editorial note: Letter September 26,
1972 (26) is missing.
September 27, 1972 (27)
My beloved,
My heart is aching deeply. Just a few hours
ago, upon returning from Laos, I hurried to the office, hoping desperately to
find one of your letters waiting for me. I was overwhelmed with happiness when
I discovered that, indeed, a letter from you was there. With that hope in my
heart, I went straight to the hotel, convinced that tomorrow you would be with
me at last.
However, the contents of your letter
brought me great disappointment. You wrote that you will most probably only be
arriving on October 10th. My angel, this news is tremendously difficult for me
to bear. I feel an intense loneliness, especially recalling how, just
yesterday, I wandered the streets of Vientiane alone, searching for material
for our new furniture and feeling uplifted by the anticipation of soon holding
you and Eric in my arms. Please understand that I do not blame you; you are
only following my advice, yet the pain remains regardless.
Today, I also received another letter from
my mother. While the store has not been sold, everything seems to be fine, and
everyone is doing well.
My love, allow me to say this: no matter
what, you should write to me every day. I would like to scold you for not doing
so, but I simply do not have the strength right now—I am too saddened by this
news.
I cannot write any more now. Please take
good care of yourself and of Eric. I do not believe you could ever truly know
just how much I love you.
Yours, André
September 28, 1972 (28)
Beloved,
It is 3h15 AM. on 29 September, and I find
myself unable to sleep. Last evening, at 5h00 PM , I went to the airport,
hoping you might arrive on flight 192 of Air France. Sadly, you were not there.
The absence of any recent news from you, and the possibility that you could
have been on that flight, compelled me to go—just in case. I know that next
week, and the week after if you have not yet arrived, I will continue to go to
the airport. It is, I suppose, a “very interesting hobby” to fill the emptiness
I am feeling in your absence.
As I mentioned to you yesterday, I have
just returned from Vientiane, Laos, where I purchased material for our
furniture. I spent a total of $100 U.S. dollars, not only on furniture material
but also for a bedspread and curtains. In truth, thanks to exchanging money on
the black market in Vientiane at a rate of US$1 to 820 kips and knowing that
the owner of the villa will reimburse us at the official rate of US$1 to 600
kips, the final cost from our own pocket will only be $5 U.S. dollars. It’s a
bit tricky, isn’t it?
Tomorrow or the day after, the commissioner
should sign the lease for our villa. With any luck, painting and repairs on the
house may also begin tomorrow. This means that, around the 5th of October, I
should be able to move in with all our belongings and start organizing
everything for us. Only one concern remains unresolved—the question of hiring
servants. If I wait for you to arrive before hiring anyone, I will be left to
cook and handle everything myself, which, here, means also going to the market
and managing all associated tasks. Therefore, I might be obliged to find
someone temporarily until you arrive. We shall see how it goes.
Darling, how are you? How is Eric? I hope
and pray for both your safety and good health. As for me, please do not
worry—everything is fine. Still, I know that things would be much worse, and
much better, if you were here with me this week.
With all my love, take good care of
yourself and of Eric. I love you both infinitely.
Yours always, André
September 29, 1972 (29)
My life,
How are you? How is Eric? It is truly
difficult to express the depth of my feelings and the profound loneliness that
has enveloped me in your absence. This week, I received only one letter from
you. Are you still writing every day? Each time I read your words, I am
reminded of the warmth they bring to my heart, and I hope you have not
forgotten how much that means to me.
Amidst my disappointment over you’re not
arriving on the 28th, my only comfort has been the news that Eric is getting
better, as you mentioned two days ago. Even though it has already been exactly
ten days since you wrote of his recovery, I must cling to that hope in order to
function properly—physically, psychologically, and spiritually.
These days, I have made a conscious effort
to imagine what you must be feeling at this moment and to understand the
reasons for your silence. I suspect you are enduring a similar inner tension to
what I experienced when we left Canada—the struggle of leaving my parents
behind. While my brothers and sisters are independent and capable of caring for
themselves, I cannot shake the feeling that I am abandoning my father and
mother, who so richly deserve a chance to rest but have not yet received it.
The thought that I might have been able to help them, yet chose to go away,
weighs heavily on me.
This tension is compounded by the knowledge
that, for me, Vietnam represents only a means to offer you the opportunity to
be closer to your parents and visit them more often. I want you to know, my
love, that I would never have chosen to return to Asia on my own. I have never
stated this so plainly before, but it is the truth. Still, I do not wish to
dwell on this fact, because my love for you far outweighs any sacrifices
made—it is these small acts that serve as signs of my devotion. I hope you
understand what I am trying to convey.
In your letter, you wrote, “Let each minute
bring us closer.” This month apart from you—thirty days, seven hundred and
twenty hours, forty-three thousand two hundred minutes separated from you and
Eric—has been another sad chapter in my life. Yet, if love is strengthened by
suffering, then my love for you has grown immensely during this time. IEIKIHY
infinitely,
Your Husband, André
September 30, 1972 (30)
My Bala,
It is Saturday night, and yet another day
has passed without receiving any news from you. This silence has left my heart
in a state of confusion, overwhelmed by a mixture of sadness, anger, and worry.
I find myself uncertain about what to think, but above all, I hold onto hope and
pray that you and Eric are both well, that you are enjoying yourselves, and
that happiness finds you.
Regarding the villa, tomorrow (Sunday) at 8h30
AM, I will return to meet with the landlord to discuss the selection of paint
colours. The choice has not yet been made, and I am unsure of what we will
ultimately decide. As for the lease, my feelings remain unsettled; the
signature has not yet been secured. The process is complicated by the fact that
the government is renting the house, resulting in additional delays and requirements.
I have made it clear that I intend to move in during the first week of October,
and this remains a source of insecurity for me. I am uncertain whether the
landlord—an elderly woman who is well-versed in financial matters—will accept
all the terms laid out in the contract, particularly those concerning
responsibility for any damages or breakages. Still, I remain determined and, in
my stubborn way, believe that we will move into the villa next week.
As for work, things are going well. On
Monday night, I have been invited to a dinner. Another dinner is scheduled for
Wednesday night, and on Thursday, I will be travelling by plane to Lung Xven,
which is sixty miles from Saigon, to attend a ceremony. That day, I will ensure
to return to the airport in time for flight 192 on Air France—you may be on
board. On Friday, if you have not arrived (though I hope you will be here by
then), I will attend yet another dinner.
Dearest, please take good care of yourself
and of Eric. I miss you deeply; it is almost inconceivable how much I long for
you with all that I am. I send infinite kisses to both you and Eric.
Yours always, André